Never Ending Hustle Struggles

Does anyone else feel like the hustle never stops, or is it just me? I had hoped to catch up on my side projects and accomplish specific tasks for Artshine during my break in late May, but it hasn't turned out that way. Other things just crept up! While I did manage to get my fifth collection approved with Kennard and Kennard (which is pretty exciting), I'm currently working on it. However, I also had to create a different look book for Artshine based on my coach's suggestion during our last meeting. Additionally, I had to quickly create a rough draft for a last-minute project that I can't discuss yet. It feels like I'm juggling a lot, but at the same time, I don't feel like I'm doing enough.

Latest finished Look Book done for Artshine

Since my contract ended at Studio Moshi, I've been freelancing full-time. Twice a week, I have a personal training session in the city, and afterwards I spend a few hours drawing and inking elements for my patterns in various public places like cafes, food courts, the library, and the museum. It's been fun! Drawing in public is relaxing and enjoyable for me, and I get to people watch during my breaks. Surprisingly, I often overhear snippets of meetings held by companies or groups in food courts. I feel a little naughty eavesdropping, but seriously, some of these meetings are so loud that you can't help hearing them, especially when there are applauses for reaching company targets. I sometimes wish I could overhear something about which stocks to buy, information that I could use. However, the constant need to hustle makes it difficult for me to truly relax at a cafe when I'm alone and not doing anything. I feel the pressure to be productive and get things done.

Inking and recording the process at a cafe

Inking Rockhopper Penguins for a new pattern

Does anyone else share this feeling of always needing to work and achieve? I struggle with unwinding. Although I do take occasional days off, I can't help but think about the lessons I haven't taken on Adobe Illustrator, the stack of unread books I have, the online course I purchased, the shops and folios I have to update and my unfulfilled mission to learn animation in After Effects. It seems like the list of things to do is never-ending.

Nonetheless, I can't complain too much because I currently have the opportunity to draw what I want. I genuinely enjoy working on this new collection. While it doesn't generate much income like working on other people's intellectual properties, I remain hopeful that one day I'll be able to support myself solely through my own work. That's why I'm striving to license more of my creations and constantly promote my work.

Inking a humpback whale for an upcoming pattern

I know that I should probably work smarter and not harder.  I can do simpler styles or do everything digitally which would cut out the scanning and cleaning up process but I enjoy hand drawing and inking and I especially love doing details. The shading, drawing feathery details or inking in the textures of fur and bumps on animals is something that represents my style and is therapeutic.

drawing feathery details

Another thing on my to-do list is to draw more flowers. I don't have enough in my portfolio and it is a very popular theme among licensors. When will I have time, though?! Every time I do something without a deadline, I feel guilty. Some days, I just really want to spend a day watching anime without drawing, but again, it goes back to feeling guilty about not doing enough work, so I still keep drawing even when I'm on the couch watching movies. Mind you, I have to watch movies I've already seen, otherwise I can't really draw. I just stop during my favourite part and all the fun action bits!

                                                               

drawing flowers while watching anime

Snake drawing I still have to ink, also done for fun

I also need to create a look book just for my skull designs. I am still editing and cleaning some of them since they're not quite ready for print. Currently, I am working on a look book for one of my other collections, hoping to finish that off tomorrow.

Skull I am editing

Then we move onto social media and my lack of consistency in posting work. Mainly because I can't show everything I'm working on, and it's not good practice to show everything until it's closer to a launch date or when the project is fully complete. It helps to build excitement for an upcoming release. If you show everything too soon, people will forget about the thing you're launching. The downside of looking at social media though is I don't feel like I've achieved as much as some of my peers. Which is a little silly, but one can't help but compare themselves sometimes.

Latest pictures for upcoming look books and bio pictures

This weekend, I spent time drawing and editing eagles for a new pattern and need to colour them tomorrow, as well as almost completing another look book. Those two projects alone have kept me very busy since Friday night. And though it's a decent chunk of work done, I was hoping to get some time to read a book and study Illustrator for a few hours and upload something on my online shop, so I still feel like I haven't done enough yet. Which, again, is silly since we all need to rest, right? Right? Man, if only sleep was optional.