IF: Suspense


Oh no!  Are they playing tag or is it something a bit more sinister?  A rush job tonight am afraid.  I actually doodled this at 3D school while at lunch time.  I went off on my own today for lunch.  I just wanted to relax and draw.  Shut down for a little bit.  I shall socialize with fellow students tomorrow lunchtime. I have barely spoken to anyone the last few days.  I've just been concentrating on the tasks at hand in school and formulating plans on how I could make the tutorials am doing more folio worthy.  Because at the end of the day, that's what I need to show to people and I can't waste the opportunities.  learn how to do something.  Then do it again and make it better.

Being back at school is challenging.  I painted after school last night.  Then today I trained after school, putting up this post and then am going to go and do more painting because I need to do the prints and the scans at the very latest on Saturday night.  It is challenging juggling everything.  I freelance, I am trying to establish myself as an illustrator/artist with my fish bones and learning 3D, as well as training.  I do need the training, keep myself fit and active and to help break down the mental barriers in my head. 

Training with Justin today was tough.  I have been training with Justin for a month now.  I hired him as my personal trainer at the start of the year.  I have started to lose my drive at the gym and my food eating habits got a bit worse and I missed having challenges and someone there to just kick my ass into gear.  I don't have the mental capabilities to train myself in a manner that could get me to my ideal fitness and to be able to physically do certain things that I have always wanted to do. The mental barriers that break at exercise will stick with me outside of it.  I need to break some mental demons.  I am not to a point that I am happy with yet.  I will get there though.   Training with Just has been awesome though!  I look a whole lot better, am trimmer, I can see progress, I am fitter than I have been in a long time and I do enjoy it.  I mean, I am wrecked at training but I really do enjoy it.  I really am a sucker for punishment.  Tsk.